The Specialist

We go to see the specialist today for the first time. We have no idea what to expect. Will he want to repeat the tests that have already been done? Will he ask us to run through a set of different tests altogether? Will he simply look at our results from the last tests and recommend an IUI or IVF? We have no idea what to expect from our meeting today. I feel a mixture of emotions about it. There is a part of me that is thrilled because we get a fresh start today. We get to try something new and maybe just maybe this will work! On the other hand I am very anxious about the financial burden that we will bear because of this and am in shock that we have gotten to this point. I am not opposed to medical intervention at all, I just never dreamed we would be here, not after being "regular" my whole life and never suspecting any problems with conception until we couldn't.

I also understand that although this Dr. is one of the best in his field, we have the benefit of a relationship with the real "specialist." God knows far more than any Doctor and we still trust Him and continually ask him for a miracle. We recognize that a baby through any means is always a miracle from God. We ask that he provide us a miracle through conception, and would love to conceive on our own, but we are willing to walk this path because we understand that this might be the plan that He has for us.

We need this to work. Desperately. So I go to this appointment today with a hopeful heart and a renewed faith in my Lord who "specializes" in creation and ask him to create a new life for us.