Specialist Part 2

So we saw the specialist today and I haven't quite been able to label how I think and feel about this path we have begun.

Our appointment went like this:

*Meeting with doctor in his office - talked about medical history and history of trying to conceive. Discussed medical records.
*Doctor tells us he feels confident that we will conceive, it is just a question of which procedure will work for us.
*Doctor tells Brian that he has to have one more sperm test.
*Doctor tells us we will start a round of IUI in October at the start of my next cycle.
*Yucky physical exam where once again everything looks "normal."

We left feeling hopeful and I think a bit exhilarated at the prospect of what is to come. I think I expected to be bogged down with another round of tests and procedures, but did not realize that we would literally jump right in to fertility treatments. The doctor made it sound so simple and easy and he felt so confident which I think led to our hopefulness. The doctor's office is filled with "success" stories and dozens and dozens of pictures of "success babies" and that left us feeling very hopeful.

By the time I got home however, my mind started spinning with all of the information we had been given:

*They don't know what is wrong with us.
*Therefore they don't know if this will work.
*These procedures are VERY expensive.
*We only have a 15% chance of success with each IUI.
*If we do conceive, we have a 25% chance of multiples.
*If we don't conceive, I will very likely have exploratory surgery.
*Depending on what they find in surgery, in vitro might be our only option.
*Because of my age (33) we only have a 40-45% chance of success with in vitro.

I am left with conflicted feelings. We have no reason to think this won't work. The doctor feels confident so we should too. On the other hand, this will be a HUGE financial burden (worth every penny) with statistically small success rates. This is our last chance. This has to work.

We prayed last night and our continued prayer will be that God will do a miracle and help us to conceive naturally this cycle and spare us from these procedures. We trust however that if the Lord chooses not to answer this prayer, He can provide for us financially as we seek these other avenues of hope. We know that a child is a miracle no matter how they are conceived.